What Does Confidence Look Like?

In my last blog, I touched upon what constitutes ‘self-esteem’; that is, we learn to trust in ourselves when we have to work for our goals.  Confidence is the by-product of a strong self-esteem.  I was watching an indie actor being interviewed this afternoon on a cable show.  His definition of being a confident actor is to trust that the process of finding your character will come in due time if you have done the requisite homework for that character.  I can safely say that my confidence comes from being independent all my life and not expecting anyone to be responsible for my happiness.  I have always trusted that my responsible ways will find me in good stead…eventually.  People in high places have never intimidated me because I have never given them the power to define me or my life.

For me, confidence looks like my reaction when given a task or goal to accomplish by a certain date or time.  I welcome the challenge to get things done in a timely manner and I trust the outcome will be from my best efforts.  My eyes are alert and my body itches to get started.  Where did I get this mindset to react favorably to challenges?  Well, as I have mentioned several times, it comes from childhood experiences and patterns.  When my father left our family, my strong mother ingrained in us by example her philosophy of how to stay on course; and, she believed in us, no matter what muse we chose to follow.  I found that being busy and finishing tasks kept me from doubt about my place in the world.  All kinds of fears entered my head and heart if I wasn’t actively working on a goal- mainly, I would be a nothing in life if I don’t set goals and achieve them.  Many people find solace in drink, drugs, promiscuity, gambling or sex when they want to be diverted from personal fears.  My drug of choice has always been seeing the results of my labor; which, in turn, has given me a strong sense of self.

I must admit it’s much harder to be motivated as a retiree, but true to my modus operandi, I always find ways to stay busy that make me happy.  Also, when I look back on my glorious life, I see that everything I accomplished has given me a free pass to enjoy the open-ended nature of my life right now.  In a nutshell, confidence looks, tastes, feels, smells and sounds like freedom.